As For Me And My House...

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE ...

MOTHER'S DAY ~ PENTECOST ~ FESTIVAL OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME

TEXTS: JOSHUA 24:14-15

ISSUES WITH MOTHER'S DAY

The UCC has been in the forefront of socially sensitive issues. Our churches are encouraged to confront the "isms" that make our interactions less than civil. We try to pay attention to ways we unintentionally make people uncomfortable or place them "outside" what some consider the norm. Mother's Day comes under this umbrella. Church used to be a place where you could be sure that Mother's Day would be celebrated with flowery tributes to the perfectly loving, self-effacing, adored and adoring mother. You know, the one none of us had or were. Where did they find these icons? The sticky imaginations of Victorian poets, I guess. But the image stayed with us for a long time, in spite of the fact that many people had memories of mother that included neglect and even abuse. Or you might hear a sermon on what a fabulous institution motherhood was-delivered by a male minister who never changed a diaper or found himself the target of projectile vomiting. All this romanticism around Mother's Day may have satisfied a few, but in fact proved wounding to a great many. People mistreated by their parents, couples experiencing infertility, mothers who lost children, children grieving their mothers, women who longed to be mothers but would never be; these folks stayed away.

The UCC took Mother's Day and renamed it "The Festival of the Christian Home." This was supposed to fix it. I'm not so sure. If you think about this as a celebration of family, it seems to come with the same baggage that Mother's Day does. Say the word "dysfunction" and the first association that pops into your head is "family." I'm more likely to emphasize Jesus' anti-family teaching. He moves away from the family and tribe as the primary social unit and talks about loyalties developed not through blood but by a common love of God and a desire for an egalitarian community. You can see how excessive tribalism has shaped the Middle East and realize that had his message taken hold, things might be very different.

Our Evangelical brothers and sisters do better at elevating family and home and perhaps we're missing an opportunity. So I decided to tackle "The Festival of the Christian Home" for the first time in my preaching career.

The first thing I noticed is the word "home." It's not the Festival of the Christian Family. I like it a lot because "home" is such an evocative word, but how can I carry on today about creating a Christian home when so many are home-less. Perhaps I must issue the disclaimer that you can create a Christian home without a physical place.

CAN YOU HAVE A HOME WITHOUT A "PLACE?"

The Comedian, George Carlin says "Your house is nothing but a place to keep your stuff. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time."

Well, George, that's what homeless people do, they walk around all the time. And believe me, most don't think it's much fun. Having a place to call "home" contributes to a person's sense of safety and security.

So maybe that's the first challenge when the church celebrates the Festival of the Christian Home; the bottom line is to do our best to make sure everybody's got one. And the church does put our efforts there; soliciting help for refugees of the cyclone in Myanmar, victims of Katrina's floods, or street people in Boston.

But what of us who do have a place? How do we express our faith through our home?

MANY HOMES, MANY FAMILIES

I loved thinking about the many homes I've been in during my tenure at Pilgrim-turn of the century mansions, low slung contemporaries, condos, rented apartments, split-level ranches, , dorm rooms, military housing at Hanscom.

And I love thinking about the people who'd lived together in these places-couples with lots of kids, couples with none, multiracial families, three generations all together, grandparents raising grandchildren, room-mates, siblings sharing a house, same-sex couples with and without kids, adopted children, foster children,

elderly folks and their caretakers- sometimes their children sometimes not, animals that were very much part of the family. All of these folk trying, I hope, to make their home a holy place.

HOW DO WE MAKE OUR HOMES "HOLY PLACES?"

Now, I'm quite sure none of them would have articulated it that way. Not too many of you wake up in the morning thinking, "How can I make my house a holy place," but that's what I see behind the struggles to live a good life in the space we occupy. I am aware of the struggles that went on in those houses when things did not seem particularly holy-the agonies over children in trouble, stress induced by loss, illness, and conflict.

I saw people wanting to live the best they could in the midst of adversity; forgiving when they were wronged, coping when bad things happened, compromising instead of insisting on their own way. I saw joy in those homes too on the occasion of life's passages-baptisms, marriages, goals accomplished, even joy when a family is together at life's end as I witnessed in the Savage home this week.

WHAT MAKES A "CHRISTIAN" HOME?

What does make a "Christian" home? How can our living space be blessed.

First: Be intentional. Choose to be a home where Christ is a continual guest. In the book of Judges, Joshua urges the people to give up the ways of the dominant culture, to put away false gods. We probably don't need to be reminded about the gods that lay claim to our loyalties today and we can hear Joshua's ancient words as still quite relevant.

JOSHUA 24:14-15

Now therefore revere the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness; put away the gods that your ancestors served ... and serve the Lord. ^... choose this day whom you will serve, ... but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

The word "serve" is helpful here because it is a call to action. Make your household is a place that values service to others. Take your kids to Bristol Lodge, shovel a neighbor's walk, make giving-money and time-an integral part of home life, and, most importantly, extend daily kindnesses to the people you live with.

Second: Post reminders. My husband's family had Christian mottos and bible verses hanging in every room. (Including one in the bathroom that said "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro over the whole earth.") Our Catholic friends have crucifixes to remind them daily of Christ's suffering love.

These are a little too obvious for me, but there are other ways. The small mezuzah that Jewish people attach to their doors is unobtrusive but they know that the tiny scroll inside contains the words "Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God, the Lord is One," constantly invoking the presence of God.

We can have something just as subtle. An arrangement of candles, shells, on a table can be considered an altar. A rock on your desk can remind you of that hike where the view blew you away. A print or painting on the wall with spiritual content can draw your mind to God.

Third: Observe rituals. Pray before meals. Set aside sacred family time when there's no T.V. Invite reflection. Friends of mine ask their kids every evening to name something that went right that day, and something that didn't. This practice helps children articulate their feelings and gets them used to looking to others for help rather than keeping it bottled up.

Fourth: Cultivate gratitude. The Christian home abounds with Thanksgiving. In order to count our blessings we need to notice that we have them. And when we do, we are less likely to focus on what we lack.

Fifth: Make your home a place of peace. In her strong and radical "Mother's Day Proclamation," Julia Ward Howe called on world leaders to settle international questions amicably, not violently. (See endnote.) The skills of negotiation and peaceful co-existence need to be taught early. Practice and develop them in your family relationships. Let's make our Christian homes the place where future diplomats are trained.

Our living spaces can be a witness to faith. When we open our doors and extend love, respect and kindness, we witness to our faith. It is Jesus who stands at the threshold and says, "Come on in. There are good people here, and you too, will find a home."

THE MOTHER'S DAY PROCLAMATION ~ BY JULIA WARD HOWE

Arise, then, women of this day!

Arise all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of fears! Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy, and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, "Disarm, Disarm!"

The sword of murder is not the balance of justice! Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as the means whereby the great human family can live in peace. And each bearing after her own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality, may be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient and the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

• < Prev
• Next >