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Community - The Third Place

COMMUNITY ~ THE THIRD PLACE

TEXT: COLOSSIANS 3 (SELECTIONS)

THE THIRD PLACE

Lately I've been encountering a lot of references to social networks: A study that correlated happiness and well-being with being part of a supportive community. A feature in the Globe about young parents who no longer have personal encounters with their peers but engage in on-line chats while their children play at their feet. An interview on NPR about how more married couples are finding their only deep friendships with one another, putting a strain on the relationships because expectations are so high.

The author, Ray Oldenburg, popularized the phrase "a great, good place" which he also referred to as "the third place," a connection outside of family and work. He argues that these third place communities are important to the development of civic society and democracy. Cleverly Starbucks turned that concept into an advertising campaign-somehow trying to convince the public that by sitting at their little tables and availing ourselves of their free wi-fi, we would somehow find that great, good place.

INTRODUCTION TO THE SCRIPTURE
The apostle Paul had a great, good place in mind when he and his disciples acted as consultants to the developing churches in the first century. Here's a description in the letter to the Colossians.

I often read parts of this passage at weddings because it is about living together with compassion; but it was written not to couples, but to churches-like ours. It is demanding stuff. Expectations are that a Christian community is exemplary-open to everybody, loving, and not phony. I'm reading Eugene Peterson's contemporary translation, The Message.

COLOSSIANS 3:9-14
Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

Isn't that remarkable? A faith community that embraces "religious and irreligious? Uncivilized and uncouth?" But clearly, the members are not to remain uncivil. It goes on.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

What a fantastic image. Put on that all-purpose garment called love. Wrap yourself in God's designer labels!

FROM "PSEUDO-COMMUNITY" TO REAL COMMUNITY ~ EMBRACING DIFFERENCES
M. Scott Peck talks about creating such a loving community in his book, A Different Drum. He says that unless groups work at it, they are mostly "pseudo-communities"-gatherings of people who are "guarded and polite-talking of less important things and giving little away about themselves." I'm guessing that's what you'd find at Starbucks. But the early churches and vital churches of today hope for more. Places where you can be honest, your authentic self, and find a way to talk to - no to love - people who are not like you. Behind that list of diverse members of the Colossian church is a world of difference. Roman society was even more stratified and entrenched than we are. "Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free," they never, never associated with one another. No wonder there was conflict in those churches. They were creating precedent.

I think this amazing challenge is a fine text to read today for several reasons:

BUILDING REAL COMMUNITY IN A CONGREGATION

1) IT IS LAY-DRIVEN
First: We've just commissioned our new Church Council. We're a church organized, led, and energized by the congregation itself. Creating a great, good place is in your hands. And it usually happens in not great, but small ways.

Just last week, Debra Adams, our Minister of Education, was talking at our staff meeting about how congregants can be resistant to children who act out-often because of special needs.. She will respond, "But don't you think this child needs the church more than anybody?" And usually folks will agree that is so. And then she'll make the point that friendliness means everything to that child but being kind and accepting does not mean we have to condone unruly behavior.
Setting limits is love made real. And I have to say, the same goes for adults. Many of us can use a gentle reminder to be kind when we're snotty or passing on some gossip.

2) IT IS GROUNDED IN PRAYER ~ OUR VULNERABLE TIME
Second: Our prayer time comes right after this sermon. We'll be praying for the people who need divine and human support. Prayer and care are critical aspects of our life together. We bear one another's burdens. This is also one of the places we move beyond "pseudo-community" to honesty with one another. It is hard to be vulnerable, to trust others to care for you when you are ill, in emotional pain, or fearful.

3) IT RISKS CONFLICT BECAUSE TRUST IN PRESENT
Third: Encouraged by our denomination, we are launching "sacred conversations on race" starting today. When Scott Peck talks about building community, he points out that the way to real trust and interdependence is often through conflict and chaos. Congregations who have clothed themselves in love should be able to speak truth to one another, even if it is hard.

4) IT IS A MODEL FOR BIGGER THINGS
Martin Luther King's also held this ideal which he called the "beloved community." But he was bold enough to conceive of it on an international scale. He advocated negotiation and non-violence rather than military action. Like Jesus, he imagined a world where peace and justice prevail over war.

Perhaps this is where it begins. Small "third places" where we can get beyond polarizing and name-calling to a place where we can actually come and reason together.

5) IT IS SYMBOLIZED BY THE COMMUNION TABLE
And finally, reading about a beautiful third place fits on a communion Sunday. Communion. Everything we are is embodied in that word. The meal and the table-symbols of family gatherings where we feed each other. The words "broken for you" a sign of what it takes to be in a loving relationship-humility and sacrifice. And images of the feast-a day when all God's creation gathers in peace in an atmosphere of joy and plenty. We have got to hold out that vision!

Friends, join together at this table. It is a great, good place. But there's a dress code: wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.