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As We Forgive...

AS WE FORGIVE ....

Christian Virtues: Forgiveness

TEXT: Matthew 6:9-15

THE FORGIVENESS PROJECT
Today I am preaching the last of the sermons in a series on Christian virtues. It is on forgiveness. To begin, here is a testimony from a journalist named Andrew Rice. "It was a bright sunny morning when my mom phoned. ‘Andrew, are you alone?' she asked, and a kind of dread came over me. She told me my brother David had rung to tell her that a plane had hit the World Trade Center but that he was OK: it had hit the other tower. I turned on the TV to catch the second jet hit and see the first tower collapsing. At this point I just let out this terrible scream, overwhelmed by the certainty that David was dead." (Adapted from his statement on www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories)
Andrew's brother, David, an investment banker, was indeed dead. And Andrew went through the same phases of rage and grief that many of us did after September 11, but his reaction was born of personal experience. In the midst of this agony, he became part of Peaceful Tomorrows, a group founded by family members of September 11 victims which looks for effective non-violent responses to terrorism. Andrew, who is a journalist, started his own wing of Peaceful Tomorrows called the "Forgiveness Project." He collects stories of forgiveness and posts them on a website.

These stories range from testimonies by big names like Desmond Tutu talking about forgiving the perpetrators of apartheid to a young gay Australian who is trying to make peace with a church that condemns him.

Andrew started with his own story: A group [of us] were contacted by the mother of the alleged 20th hijacker, Zacharias Moussaoui. ... She wanted to meet some of the families of the victims and ask for their forgiveness. We were nervous ... scared it would be just too upsetting. But finally a small group of us agreed to meet Madame al-Wafi ... at a private university building. A mother whose son was killed in the World Trade Center went down the hall to meet her. We heard footsteps, then silence. Then we heard this sobbing. Finally they came into the room, both mothers with their arms around each other. By now we were all crying. Madame al-Wafi reminded me a lot of my own mother, who had cried so much after David died. She spent three hours with us and told us how the extremist group had given her mentally ill son a purpose in life.

One day I'd like to meet Zacharias Moussaoui. I'd like to say to him, "you can hate me and my brother as much as you like, but I want you to know that I loved your mother and I comforted her when she was crying."
Forgiveness. Many theologians claim that it is the cornerstone of the Christian faith. If our traditional liturgy is any indicator, the church must think it is pretty big since we pray about forgiveness every week. I'm reading the text of the Lord's prayer from Matthew;

MATTHEW 6:9-15 ~ FORGIVE TO BE FORGIVEN
9 "Pray then in this way:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one.

Here the prayer ends and Matthew has Jesus add this caveat:
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Debts, trespasses, sins. All ways of indicating violations against individuals, groups, and God. In the Lord's prayer, we ask to be forgiven and we are forgiving. Personally, I would prefer to pray, "Forgive me my sins more generously than I have forgiven others." But the Lord's prayer puts it in direct correlation. And in case we didn't get it, adds this threatening coda: "if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." I resist this. In fact, it contradicts every grace-filled text that assures us that God's mercy is unconditional. After all, Romans 8 does not say: "Nothing can separate us from the love of God except the fact that we are rigid and unforgiving." No, it says "nothing, nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God."

What can this mean then? If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. Rather than being a warning, I think it is a description. If we cannot be forgiving people, we will not be able to experience forgiveness for ourselves. If we cannot be forgiving people, we inhabit a universe that insists on punishment and settling scores.

Jesus' emphasized forgiveness. He said make it a daily practice, forgive over and over ... 70 times 7. This shows he knew something about human nature. There is probably nothing more psychologically debilitating than holding on to bitterness and anger. There is nothing more socially destructive than hatred and revenge. What a different world we would inhabit if forgiveness were the norm. Do you remember how awed we were when the Amish Community in Pennsylvania forgave the murderer who killed 5 little girls and wounded 5 more? Donations poured in for medical care for the survivors and they decided to share the money with the wife and 3 children of the perpetrator. Their habit of forgiveness led them to acts of compassion and steered them away from vegeance.
PRACTICING THE ART OF FORGIVING
OK, so far every example of forgiveness I've mentioned has been off-the-charts heroic because these examples are inspirational. But I think Jesus had something more mundane in mind when he gave us advice about how to pray about forgiveness daily. Sure, many of us do have big things to forgive or be forgiven for. We are victims or perpetrators of abuse, we have been betrayed or we have betrayed another, we have lied and cheated. But we also commit small, daily sins that require confession and absolution. We are self-righteous, snide, greedy, careless about the environment, and careless of others.

When Bob Hunt comes through the line, he will occasionally rate my sermons on a guilt vs. hope continuum. I'm sure he's putting this one down as a heavy guilt trip. All right, I admit that it is. But it's also a heavy hope trip since Jesus makes it clear, that God forgives and that we too, can become forgiving. And he makes it clear that it is a virtue to cultivate forgiveness; that it's a core discipline of the faith.

Andover Newton professor, Greg Mobley writes: "Forgiveness is what keeps the world turning. Forgiveness in families; forgiveness in neighborhoods and communities; forgiveness between generations; forgiveness between tribes and clans; forgiveness among nations. If there is no forgiveness, the universe goes bankrupt because there are more debts than can ever be repaid." (http://www.ants.edu/ ~ Keyword sermon/forgiveness)

WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT
Forgiveness is a huge topic. I try to preach on it often since I can never say everything in one sermon. Here are just a few comments-a bit of head-work before I close with the heart of the matter. Sometimes we feel we cannot be forgiving because we expect too much of ourselves. Let me start by saying what I think forgiveness is NOT.

1. Approving or condoning. Forgiving does not say "Don't worry. It didn't matter." It did matter or there would be no need to forgive. You do not escape accountability just because you are forgiven.

2. Forgetting. Forgive and forget is a platitude. It is rarely found in real life. Deep injury has a way of staying with us. That's part of the Jesus' edict to forgive 70 x 7. It's a continual process, not a once and for all thing. We need to keep on forgiving.

3. Reconciliation. Sometimes forgiveness results in a mended relationship and that's good. But often one party is unrepentant, or absent, or even unaware of what they have done. Still we can forgive that person and let it go, even if they haven't asked for pardon.

4. Easy. Oh no. It's an ongoing project, often two steps forward, one step back. It's especially hard if you are in the middle of it every day.
A colleague writes: Forgiveness is easiest when you don't have to deal constantly with the person who peeves you." (I am indebted to Rev. Bill Schuster, former chaplain of the Deaconess Hospital for these categories.)

HABITS OF FORGIVENESS
What forgiveness is, though, is a Christian practice. And by practice, I mean just that. Something we work on consciously just as we play scales to master an instrument or shoot hoops one after another to become proficient at basketball. Forgiveness is a way of life. A habit developed by use, from our reaction to the guy who cuts us off in traffic to the deeper practice of letting go of serious harm done in family relationships, broken friendships, or crimes.

And when we develop that practice of forgiving, we are more likely to know that we are forgiven. And do not underestimate the power of a community to provide support in that effort. Forgiving is our business here. From the way we say the Lord's prayer together each week, to the examples of people who have endured and come to forgiveness. And also do not underestimate the power of prayer to help you cultivate a forgiving attitude. To that end, I am going to move to the "heart" aspect of this sermon.

Has this sermon triggered something in your thoughts? Are you remembering a wound from the past that still bleeds? Are you bound to the person who hurt you because you keep reliving the damage? Lee Strobel says, "Sometimes people don't hold a grudge, the grudge holds them." Or, like Job, do you have a case against God for the way life turned out for you? Perhaps you are in need of forgiveness yourself, carrying some guilt, feeling ashamed, wanting to change and make amends.

LET GOD HELP ~ OFFER IT UP
Today is the equivalent of New Year's Eve in the liturgical year. It is the last Sunday of the cycle. Next Sunday, the first of Advent, we begin again. It is a good time to take stock and make resolutions and prepare for the coming of the Christ to make things new in our lives. In your program, you will see a sticky note. Take a moment to articulate what you are holding on to. Name that pain, grudge, guilt, anger, to yourself. In a few words, write it on the sticky side of the paper. Then fold it so it sticks together.

When the ushers come by with the collection plates, offer it up. Give it away to God as a pledge that you will start on the path of forgiveness. They will remain folded and anonymous but we will pray for these requests today during the offering prayer and then after the service, burn them as sweet incense to God. Friends, practice the Christian virtue of forgiveness. This is a day of new beginnings.